The Order Garrison

"That ain't nuthin'...
 

[Closed] "That ain't nuthin'!"  

 
Rasputin
(@rasputin)
Seeker of Vann Oru

So for this game, we will be "one-upping" each other. Someone says something, then the next person tries to outdo that claim. Try not to jump to too outlandish a claim right away. Let's let this build slowly. Seems like it would be more fun that way.

I'll start.

I have a cat.

Enough hydrogen, left alone for long enough, will eventually begin to think about itself.

Posted : July 12, 2018 11:27 am
Shayen Locke
(@shay)
Woodland Scout

I have two cats.

Posted : July 12, 2018 1:00 pm
Rasputin
(@rasputin)
Seeker of Vann Oru

My cats hunt the local mice with bows made from matchsticks.

Edit: I edited this from "lazer beam eyes" since that seemed like too much of a leap, breaking my own rules. Not that matchstick bows are much more believable. But yeah. Seems more appropriate.

This post was modified 11 months ago 2 times by Rasputin

Enough hydrogen, left alone for long enough, will eventually begin to think about itself.

Posted : July 12, 2018 1:30 pm
Kane Driscol
(@kane)
Woodland Scout
Posted by: Rasputin

My cats shoot laser beams from their eyes.

So these 1-Up's don't need to be true or do you have an amazingly dangerous cat?

”I think about intuition in the context of fencing as the sum of all of your experiences taking the form of a feeling that something is going to happen even if you don’t necessarily have the evidence to support it.” – Sada Jacobson

Posted : July 12, 2018 1:33 pm
Rasputin
(@rasputin)
Seeker of Vann Oru

They don't need to be true, no. The weirder we get, the better.

Enough hydrogen, left alone for long enough, will eventually begin to think about itself.

Posted : July 12, 2018 1:34 pm
Shayen Locke
(@shay)
Woodland Scout

My cats don't need to hunt, they mesmerize their prey to come to them. 

Posted : July 12, 2018 2:55 pm
Rasputin
(@rasputin)
Seeker of Vann Oru

My cats know what it means to be a proud feline! They hunt, without resorting to petty tricks or hypnosis! Oh, and they know how to play Parcheesi, if the mood takes them. They're the local champions, in fact.

Enough hydrogen, left alone for long enough, will eventually begin to think about itself.

Posted : July 12, 2018 3:32 pm
Kane Driscol
(@kane)
Woodland Scout

Well, while you guys have your supernatural cats with extraordinary powers, bloodlust, and most likely opposable thumbs ( https://youtu.be/EmJhv6W_URY ), I get to have money in pocket that isn't spent on housing a domesticated version of an animal who would kill me without a second thought. Although, I'm sure most cats nowadays would still kill me without a second thought if given the chance... Anyway, I've got money in my pocket and peace of mind that something living in my house isn't plotting my death. Right, @miren-folley? Miren? Oh no...

”I think about intuition in the context of fencing as the sum of all of your experiences taking the form of a feeling that something is going to happen even if you don’t necessarily have the evidence to support it.” – Sada Jacobson

Posted : July 13, 2018 8:49 am
Miren Folley
(@miren)
Seeker of Vann Oru

Kane, you may think you have money & peace of mind... but do you realize I have a husband who has stashed my garage with an advanced weaponry? I've got dozens of swords, daggers, wood working saws, spears, bows... Seriously. He's also built a teleportation device that I use to gather many poisonous spiders from around the world. He thinks their webs are his "special symbol" in fencing, but I'm training the spiders using a miniature trapeze to launch themselves and spin a single strand of their thread right at his eye level in EVERY doorway of our home. I'd like to see you maintain your peace of mind, now. Mwahaha!

Posted : July 13, 2018 4:45 pm
Jay Squawkers
(@jay)
Spriggan

Ha, you think that is impressive? I didn't need to have someone else stash my garage, as I did it myself! And I don't need a device to teleport! Nor do I need to waste precious time and money on training spiders, so I can actually do something productive!

 

Posted : July 21, 2018 10:22 am
Rasputin
(@rasputin)
Seeker of Vann Oru

Teleportation, pah! I get around on a Turkish sedan, borne aloft by 12 greased eunuchs, with my Parcheesi champion cats in full plate armor, guarding me against the unwashed masses! The sedan has built in Wifi, and a soda fountain that dispenses nothing but Diet Mtn Dew!

Enough hydrogen, left alone for long enough, will eventually begin to think about itself.

Posted : July 25, 2018 1:44 pm
Miren Folley
(@miren)
Seeker of Vann Oru

Psh. Well, I can fly. Can you fly? Or do you have to be borne aloft by other means?

Posted : November 1, 2018 10:55 am
Rasputin
(@rasputin)
Seeker of Vann Oru

I am born aloft by my lustrous beard, should the need arise! It is indeed a sight to behold, my flying beard! It grows 12 feet long, into auburn wings of manliness, gossamer wings! The local birds flit along with me, saying "What ho! This sorcery, it is majestic! If only we could be so radiant, bearded and awe-inspiring!" It makes maidens faint, and grow men weep, it is such a sight.

Enough hydrogen, left alone for long enough, will eventually begin to think about itself.

Posted : November 5, 2018 10:00 pm
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